I was breakfasting this morning in a well known eatery (OK, it was McDonalds) when we were joined by the King and Queen of the Chavs, in person. They pulled up right outside the door in their silver Mercedes SLK. He came in first, slightly overweight, suntanned, shaved head, wearing white trainers, no socks, an off white pair of shell suit bottoms that finished about six inches above his ankles, and a T shirt with a heavy gold chain showing. His queen followed at a respectful distance. She was absolute perfection. Very young looking, so I actually thought she might be his daughter at first, until he put his tongue down her throat just before they parted - her to get the seats, him to get the grub. She was resplendent in a light grey velour leisure suit, the top cropped to show off her puppy fat belly, topped off with a Burberry baseball cap. It was a beautiful sight! I almost wanted to go over and congratulate them, but managed to stop myself. When I left I saw the sure sign that I had been in the presence of Chav royalty - the DAN60 plate on his Merc!